Monday, May 23, 2011

You Must Be a Muggle

Yesterday I marinated my meat according to February's Chicken Tikka Masala post and then immediately left, kegs in hand, to compete in the Brew Riot, one of the most fun days of my life. Let me tell you a little about the Brew Riot:

This was early in the competition when the line was 100 people deep to get in and there was only one person taking cash and giving wristbands. It got much more crowded. We were also in the far back corner in the Texas tent.

Brew Riot's a homebrew beer competition hosted by Eno's Pizza in Bishop Arts. About 20 or so homebrewers and clubs show up each year loaded with booze to serve until it's all gone (or we get rained out as happened last night) to hordes of crazed drinkers. I brought a nice strong stout and a dialectal laced rye ale that I've been cooking with for a while since it's not a great beer. Fortunately, I'm an expert marketer and called it Harry Potter Butterbeer Rye Ale and the chicks loved it! It was by far the first keg to float at the competition and I bragged like a mofo. Of course I didn't tell anyone that it only started half full or a third full, but who's counting? I started out fairly professionally, but decided it would be awesome to drink a lot, so I got pretty drunk and started chatting up a group of girls who wanted me to brew them some Butterbeer since I was out. They were hanging out nearby, so I jotted my number down and brought it over. Here's the bits and pieces of the conversation that are worth recording:

Friend: Why are you talking to her [girl I was interested in] when I'm like the biggest Harry Potter fan in the world?
Me: I find your friend very attractive. (No idea if this was beer goggles or not.)
Friend: You just like her because she has big boobs!
I turn to look, but am rudely interrupted.
Friend: You're turning to look!
Now they're all laughing.
Friend: Why don't you like me?
Me: I'm not really into tattoos.
Girl I Wanted: I have a tattoo, you know, you just can't see it right now.
At that moment over walk two guys.
Guy: I'm her [girl I like] boyfriend.
Me: Oh man, I'm really sorry. I had no idea. You have a very cool girlfriend.
Friend: He's not her boyfriend.
Everyone but me is laughing. At me, I think. I'm confused.
Me: Then you should definitely give me a call.

More favorite exchanges from the conversation:

Me: You're what, like 24?
Girl I Wanted: [Shock in her face.] Yeah... I am. Wow. You should be a carny!

Me: I'm a little drunk right now, but I'm actually a pretty smart guy. I'm a teacher and I like to ride my bike and cook and stuff. Really, I'm pretty damn fantastic.
Friend: You're such a cocky asshole!

She said this while laughing and we talked for a while afterwards, so I don't think it's a bad sign, but I don't really expect a call as much as I'd like one, and if she does I don't even remember her name. It started with an M. I remember that. I'm just proud of myself for manning up and actually talking to a girl I found attractive. Two in two weeks who am I?! Wow.

Other fun exchanges that had nothing to do with these girls:

Random Brew Rioter: This is going to sound really gay, but I want the Harry Potter.
Me: Um, I brewed that. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Random Brew Rioter #2: Do you have anywhere to dump this beer? It's not very good. [It wasn't our beer.]
Me: I'd throw that swile away too. I mean swall. Is that right? [Long awkward pause.] You can pour it here. [It wasn't until this afternoon on the way home from work that I realized the word I was looking for was swill.]

Random Brew Rioter #3: Why do you call it Harry Potter Butterbeer?
Me: You must be a Muggle.

***Just FYI: I made the Chicken Tikka Masala with Half & Half, Ghee instead of butter, Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, and one Tomato instead of two since I ran out. I liked the February version much more. Tonight's wasn't bad, but I think the cream really made a difference.

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